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Reflecting on Leadership: Finding Balance After Intense Years

by Taran Schneider, Cohort 8

As I sit back and reflect on where I am in my personal and professional leadership journey, I feel both grateful and a little in awe of how far I’ve come. The past handful of years have been a whirlwind of intense change, growth, and challenges. I’ve had the privilege of leading Healthy Child Care Colorado (HCCC) through some pivotal moments, especially as we transitioned from being part of Qualistar to standing as an independent nonprofit. That transition was a monumental effort in itself. Add to that the challenge of navigating the organization through the unpredictable storm of a global pandemic and significant strides in Colorado’s early childhood system, and you’ll understand why I have been reflecting on the balance between my personal and professional life. In addition to my work with HCCC, I’ve also had the honor of serving on the Board of Directors for Child Care Aware of America, a role that has been both fulfilling and substantial. Serving as board president during the organization’s CEO transition required me to step into an even more extensive leadership role, helping guide the organization through a period of significant change. These experiences have shaped my leadership journey, and together, they led me to finding myself increasingly unbalanced between my personal and professional life.

For a long time, I was caught in what felt like a never-ending cycle—always giving to the organization, always moving from one initiative to the next, in a time of unprecedented need. But despite the passion I have for the work, there came a point where I realized I wasn’t being my best—personally or professionally. Recognizing this, I made an intentional decision to slow down. I had honest conversations with my executive coach and board chair about the possibility of taking a sabbatical, which the HCCC board generously approved for August to October 2024.

As I reflected on the opportunity, I recognized the privilege to be in the position to ask for and take a sabbatical. Many leaders, especially in the nonprofit sector, don’t have the luxury of stepping away for an extended period, and I was deeply aware of how fortunate I am to have a board that supports my need for rest. Despite this recognition, I also felt an underlying sense of guilt for taking a break. I struggled with the thought that I was letting others down, particularly my team, who had worked hard alongside me. The idea of stepping away and asking for time to recharge felt, at times, selfish, as if I should be constantly giving more. This inner conflict weighed heavily on me, but ultimately, I understood that by taking this time to rest, I would return with more energy, focus, and clarity—ready to lead more effectively.

Preparing for sabbatical required both personal and professional preparation to ensure that the time away would be productive, restorative, and leave the organization in a position to thrive in my absence.

Professional Preparation: Setting the Stage for Success

Professionally, the first and most important step was ensuring the organization would continue to function smoothly while I was away. I knew I couldn’t step away without leaving a solid foundation, so I had detailed conversations with my team, executive coach, and the board about how to ensure the organization’s stability.

We worked together to identify key projects, critical functions, and the leadership structure that would carry on without me. We appointed an interim executive director who was well-versed in supporting our programmatic work and the team. We worked together to document organizational tasks to ensure she had training and practice before my departure. I also created and executed a communications plan with items leading up to my absence and upon my return. For example, I sent a weekly sabbatical planning update to our internal team and board for five weeks before I was out of the office. This update included both items related to ensuring the organization and interim leadership were prepared to take on my responsibilities as well as some of my personal preparation.

Additionally, I spent time documenting processes, meeting with key stakeholders to ensure a smooth transition, and empowering my team to take on more leadership. Trusting in the team I had helped build was crucial—I knew the best way to prepare them was to empower them to lead in my absence, and I made sure they had the support and resources needed to succeed.

Personal Preparation: Shifting My Mindset

Personally, preparing for the sabbatical required a mindset shift. For years, I had been deeply embedded in the nonprofit leadership world, always on the go, always thinking about the next challenge or crisis. Letting go of that constant “doer” mentality was not easy. It meant stepping into a space of vulnerability and being honest with myself about how burnt out I had become.

In the months leading up to the sabbatical, I worked closely with my executive coach to ensure I was mentally and emotionally ready to disconnect. We discussed my goals for the sabbatical—slow down, be present, reflect, and explore new adventures—and started setting boundaries that would help me honor these intentions. I took the time to assess my personal needs, letting go of the pressures I had placed on myself to constantly perform at the highest level.

I also took the opportunity to have open conversations with family and close friends about my intentions. They were all incredibly supportive, and their understanding helped ease the transition. Having a solid support network during this time allowed me to truly invest in myself without guilt or fear of letting others down. See the photo of the Bucket List I made in collaboration with my nieces and nephews which includes all the fun things we planned to do during the month of August together.

The Sabbatical: Restoring and Recharging

During the sabbatical itself, I set simple goals for myself: slow down, be present, reflect, and go on adventures. No grand plans, no major accomplishments on the horizon—just the opportunity to reconnect with myself and the world around me. What followed was an amazing experience. I spent time with loved ones, got out into nature, travelled to Italy (by myself!) for a month and allowed myself the space to rest deeply. But more than anything, I had the time and space to reflect on the leadership journey I had been on and what I needed to move forward.

The impact of this time away went far beyond just my own personal renewal. I found that this break brought me closer to my team, my board, and even to myself. It allowed me to be vulnerable with those who have been my partners in this work. They saw a side of me that had been tucked away for too long, and I learned to lean on them in new ways. It was a mutual growth experience that created stronger bonds and a deeper sense of shared purpose. I’m reentering my role with a clearer sense of where I want to go next and how I want to grow—not just as a leader, but as a person.

Taran stands in front of a waterfall surrounded by her nieces and nephews

What Others Can Learn from My Journey

So, what do I want others to know from my experience? First, I want to challenge the notion that leadership means always pushing forward without pause. I invite you to consider the power of taking a step back—whether it’s for a sabbatical or simply taking a break when you’re feeling burnt out. There is immense value in allowing yourself the space to rest and reflect. It’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. In fact, it can ultimately make you a better leader by allowing you to show up more fully and authentically when you do return to your work.

Second, it might feel vulnerable to admit when you’re not at your best, but I promise you—it is in that vulnerability that we find our true growth. Leadership isn’t just about guiding others; it’s about knowing when to take care of yourself so you can continue leading with purpose.

Finally, my hope for this post is simple: take the time to check in with yourself. Are you leading in a way that feels sustainable? Are you growing both personally and professionally, or are you simply running through the motions? There is no shame in pausing to reflect, to reset, and to reconnect with what matters most.